Thursday, July 30, 2009

changing the world starts with yourself

You can only understand someone in so far as fear will guide them, you can put people in the very situation they have dreamed of their whole life, and watch it collapse to a nightmare if they aren't strong enough, and only end up running away from everything that pushed them there in the first place. A lot of people don't chase their dreams in fear of failing, and its only those who seek to even reach that far, those that don't accept failure as an option that begin to come close. I can talk pretty tough at times, but have even stood in fear of my own words and their eventual implications. Thus as I embark on a new chapter of my life and become divisible, I will reflect on the past 23 years of my life as all the mistakes and corrections I could make so that when I am confronted with similar scenarios in the future, they will have different outcomes. That's all part of learning, isn't it?

Look at this as practice, you have the rest of your life to reflect on the past, but don't let the reflection mirror the future. I tend to only make the same mistake once. I tend to put too much emphasis on trying to make the most perfect choice as possible while negatively affecting the least amount of people at the same time. My selflessness and empathy, tends to be misunderstood only because people don't generally understand how I think or the regards I hold them in.

I am also a strong believer in fate, karma, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, everything happens for a reason, all that nonsense. Why? Because I have hope and faith. Hope for a future with a belief that I can directly make not only mine a better place to reside in, but others. And faith in myself and others. I've been to the brink of oblivion, but equally at what seemed a near peak of the accomplishment of my dreams. I have been on a stage, I have used my voice and self as a vessel to convey a message that had an impact, if ever so short, however I know I can further it and in the future ensure it is more lasting. I have lived my dreams if only temporarily, with no one needing to pinch me, I didn't need to be woken up because I wasn't sleeping. You make the choices you make, you accept the consequences, learn to live with them, and from them, it's all about perspective frankly.

I have accepted the fact that people will only understand me and my actions as far as they allow themselves to, and that the amount and manner as to which I think, and the approach that I take both to my life and the art of living, is something I have rarely encountered in other people, in at least a similar manner. Essentially, if you don't ask, you'll never know, and the assumption that is typically made about any and every situation, is its inherent downfall. People must first accept that the biggest problem in their life is most likely them-self, at least once you gain some degree of self-sufficiency. This is in disregard of environmental factors and silly things like genetics. You have a choice. If you want to be fat, you just don't exercise and eat wrong. If you don't, you exercise and eat right, its really that easy. I didn't really want to end this writing on that note, but I've fallen short of anything else to write on, and at least it may inspire someone to take charge of something they think they have control over.

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